I am not who you know me to be
I am just who I am
I am not how you know me to be
I am just how I am
How are you how you are? you ask
I know not how I am
Do you know yet who you are? I ask
Do you know yet who I am?
How are we how we are?
How are we who we are?
How are we why we are?
Is it worth me asking?
Be not who you are known to be
Be just who you are
Know not who you know me to be
Know just who I am.
i sit at the table with jameson
trying to write clever verse
not knowing how to think or feel
you’re gone and that makes it worse
i’m scared to love you in case i scare you
a dream come true, i flinch at my fear
but when i feel you i know that i love you
a dream so real as though you were here
i laugh at what i’ve just written
the music stops and it’s quiet
in the silence i smile at a memory
and i remember to make it all right
i sit here crying
tears i would cry for no other,
wondering why i’m not smiling.
then i realise they are yours –
the tears that hide behind your smile.
finally he thinks he has found
the one who has no bounds
the one who overwhelms
who he trusts to share the helm
and yet he holds back
weary of attack
not of combat, but the doubt
of history and he shouts
he is overwhelmed by him
completely in the realm of him
and yet he won’t know how to be
you and me, him and i, or are they we?.
and he remembers to wait and see.
the time is short since other lives
were fraying, cut, reluctant knives
of passion soaked in safeness, sad
with glimmers of a myriad…of dreams
i hold back
when i need you
when i’m wanting you
i hold back
when i’m not sure
if you want me too
i get scared
when i think that
you might not be sure
i feel bared
when i know that
you could not mean more
i hold back
i hold back
i hold back
i hold back
when i want you
and it hurts me so
i hold back
just in case i
need to go more slow
i need you
to know that i
want the best for you
i like you
and i want you
and i love you too
i hold back
i hold back
i hold back
I’ve got a little soft spot for you sweetie
It oozes when you smile
You make me sag, go out of shape
And lose it for a while
I’ve got a little soft spot for you darling
But I keep it hidden well
Apart from this slightly wistful look
You could really hardly tell
I’ve got a little soft spot for you sugar
Ok, it’s not so tiny
All right it’s huge
Are you happy now
That you’ve made me go whiny?
So I’ve got a huge gaping soft spot for you mate
And I dream of you at night
And ten times a day I think I see you
Standing at the traffic lights
I love everything about you petal
I’m not exaggerating
And most of all I love the things
I know I should be hating
I’m completely nuts about you baby
You make me go to mush
Every time you look at me
Is like a sugar rush
I’ve got a little soft spot for you honey
I can live with your love handles
But there’s just one thing I cannot stand
And that’s the socks and roman sandals
You parked your car
Behind mine In the driveway
I felt trapped
I could have gone anywhere
But I couldn’t reverse
And what made it worse
Was that you thought it was ok
You thought I was over-reacting
So I told you to back off and get
Out of my life
Lingering looks
Over-bearing passion
Various compatibilities
Except matching fashion
How come there are so many songs about love
When there are so few record players left?
What’s love got to do with it?
Tina Turner asks
How should I know?
Do your own research, Tina.
You’ve got enough money
That’s the trouble with people
With lots of money
Always trying to get something for nothing
Always whingeing that no-one loves them
Perhaps that’s why
Or perhaps that’s got nothing to do with it
We met across a crowded room
We didn’t know what hit us
But what was sure, without a doubt
Was that the same mosquito bit us
He was tall, blue-eyed with sun-bleached hair
Until I looked again
He was short and plain with a wooden leg
But kind of cute, all the same
My mosquito bite began to itch
I had to stop and scratch it
And as I did his leg fell off
And he had to bend to re-latch it
Well that did it, I was over there
In a flash – no – it took half an hour
To get through the crowd in my wheelchair
Without spilling my glass of Black Tower
When I finally reached the other side
Of the room I was sure he’d be gone
But he wasn’t at all, he was standing there waiting
With his leg unmistakably on
I couldn’t help noticing,” – I said with a smile
As I gave the straw in my wine some suction -
“How balanced you were when you picked up your leg.
“What a line, I thought, what seduction
“You’re far too kind,” he said with a snort
Of a laugh that was strangely endearing
“I was going to say as you came through the room
How impressed I was with your steering.”
I blushed like mad as he continued to tell me
He liked a man with direction.
By this time I was hooked, I was so entranced
I could hardly hide my … delight
He was standing there with me in my chair
I had drunken almost too much
It was odd, sitting there with my head at his hips
And I couldn’t help glancing at his crotch
So there we were these two travelling souls
Whose paths just happened to have crossed
At some dull and boring party for a mutual friend
Of a friend. So I said, “Let’s get lost.”
Which we did. Off we went. We were out of there
We went to a café, then a bar
And we sat and we talked until I can’t remember when
Not to mention, where we’d parked the car
So that’s how we met for the very first time
He rang me the very next day
We went out to dinner every night that week
He was rich so I made him pay
The first time we bonked was a Saturday night
It was raining, I remember it well
It may not have been perfect, and the earth didn’t move
But that leg was undoubtedly swell
Well, we continued to date for a couple of months
And the bonking was pleasant enough
But just like the yanks in the America’s Cup
Our sail didn’t have quite enough puff
So we started to gradually see less of each other
Eventually I gave him the shove
And if you believe this then you’d believe anything
Except perhaps, the story of my true first love…
There’s a message on the voicemail for you
I know because I saved it
You better listen to it very soon
Otherwise I will erase it
There’s a message on the voicemail for you
I don’t know who it’s from
Actually I do it’s your mother
Christ she does go on and on
There’s a message on the voicemail for you
Behold for I have spoken
I know I’m right there’s evidence
The dial tone is broken
There’s a message on the voicemail for you
I pressed the number 2
Because that guy on the call minder
Said to save the message press 2
There’s a message on the voicemail for you
To listen to your message press 1
To delete the message just press 3
Goodbye
I’m jumping out of a plane on Thursday
From ten thousand feet
With some bloke strapped to my back
It could be the last thing I do
If something goes wrong
Though I doubt that it will be
More likely the last thing I’ll do
If something goes wrong
Is think
What a fucking dumb thing to do
